15/10/1985 - How it started

I was 19 years and three hundred and sixty-two days old. I was, as any girl of that age, looking forward to a fun night out with my friends.

I was a student of electrical engineering at a major university. It was probably at the beginning of the great shift from vocational learning to academic learning - it was becoming more usual for teenagers to go into university but it still wasn't the norm. And it was even more unusual for a young woman to enter the manly world of engineering. But I liked to be different and tended to make deliberately obstinate choices.

On this particular day, the day that everything changed, I was returning to my student house with the new Iron Maiden live record, which I'd finally gotten around to buying, when I spotted a man skulking around by my front door. I shared with another girl and a lad, so I just assumed he was a mate of theirs. I carried on towards the front door, humming Wrathchild to myself in anticipation of the aural damnation that lay ahead. I let myself through the squeaky front gate that always shut itself with an embarrassingly loud clang and half-acknowledged the unknown man as I walked the four or five short steps to the front door (which was rather oddly painted red at the top and blue at the bottom). He moved towards me as if wanting to say something but then seemed to hesitate nervously.

"Everything okay?" I asked him politely.

He regained his composure slightly, bowed politely and spoke in a surprisingly authoritative tone. "I must speak with you. It is a matter of the utmost priority."

I distinctly remember thinking two things at this point. One was that this seemed a rather over-dramatised little performance, and the other was that he must have mistaken me for someone else. For some reason I don't clearly remember what he was wearing - part of me thinks it must have been a smart suit, but then again I have a faint recollection of snappy but casual clothing. The one thing I'm certain of, however, was his hat - a proper 1940s style Bogart piece of headwear. He looked quite dashing in it actually.

Anyway, I digress. What happened next was the single most momentous thing that ever happened to me. All that is to follow is a direct consequence of this meeting. So pay attention.

"I think you have the wrong person," I said, mostly concerned with getting in and letting Eddie loose on my turntable. I turned to open the door, but the man put a firm hand on my shoulder.

"No, I never misidentify an individual, Jo. Sometimes I have difficulties justifying the consequences of my work, but nevertheless I carry it out diligently and without mistake. It is vital you come with me at once." He relaxed his grip on my shoulder and indicated that he wished me to walk back through the front gate.

"But I..."

"At once." Something in his manner made me pause for a moment. He was insistent and persuasive, but also slightly unnerving - he had a faint quality of ... well, he was odd. No point beating about the bush there. As odd as they come and then some.

"You will come with me now. You may bring your purchase along, we have access to vinyl disc sound reproduction equipment."

I gawped at him.

"Perhaps I should explain. You have been selected by the administration that currently governs the Galaxy to undertake a mission of the utmost importance. This is a great, great honour indeed. Should you perform well in the task set before you, there is a high likelihood you will be made a permanent member of staff in our organisation. You will exist above and beyond Earth law. You will be a servant of the highest calling."

At this point, I began to suspect the man was perhaps confused about one or two points. "I'm sorry..." I started.

"You are not sorry. You are fortunate. You are honoured. And I strongly suggest you act as such. You wouldn't want to appear ungrateful."

I was by now rather flustered and apologised in a mumbly fashion.

"I believe it is your people's custom to give forth a card at this point. Here is my card."

He pressed something into my hand. Looking down, I could see it was a nine of spades. I stared at it uncomprehendingly.

"Is that not the correct thing to do?" asked the stranger, suddenly nervous again.

Oddly I felt moved to reassure him - he looked almost ready to cry. "No, it's fine," I said. "I mean normally it would be a business card with your business details and contact information on it, but this is... very... nice." I was faced with total mental breakdown at this point - I had no idea what to make of all this. In retrospect, a sensible person would probably have dived into the house and threatened to call the police. I wasn't sensible though - I was impulsive, confident, outspoken and totally and completely insecure. I was also, despite my rocker-girl appearance and tendency towards looking a bit vampirish, a complete softie. And I had not even the merest inkling of how to handle this situation.

"Forgive me," continued the man. "I am sometimes unsure of the exact nature of all of your ways. They are many and intricate. Across all the worlds, there are upwards of a hundred billion individual actions that have subtle and nuanced meanings."

"Across the... worlds?" I repeated, my mouth no doubt gaping open like it has a tendency to. "Across the... what?"

The man shuffled his feet. "Yes, perhaps I should explain further. I am an android..."

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"From another planet."

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"And my role is to..."

"No, no, stop there, please. I think that's plenty enough explanation for now." Finally I began to come to my senses. Getting away from this suddenly very obviously crazy person was blatantly the sensible thing to do. Of course, I had to have the last word first. "So," I said in my best sarcastic voice, "I suppose you want me to 'take you to my leader'?"

He looked startled. "No, not at all" he said simply. "Mrs. Thatcher is not part of your task to the best of my knowledge."

We stood awhile, looking at each other, each wondering what move the other would make next. I eventually took the initiative and ran down the road very quickly. I ran for a good half a mile, past the petrol station, past the local corner shop, past the local chippie and into the local park. I slowed to a quick walk and huffed and puffed my way to the lake. There, leaning calmly against a tree, casual-as-you-like, was him. The android from another world. I yelped, turned round and ran all the way back home.

Of course, he was again there before me. As you would expect from an android if you think about it.

"I can ambulate somewhat quicker than you are able," the android said.

"So I see. You can also construct poncier sentences than I can."

"You must come," said the android, ignoring this last comment. "With haste."

I didn't know what to do. Obviously there was no way I could outrun him, presumably no way to outpower him, mobile phones didn't exist unless you were a very rich and obnoxious Porsche driver and things were getting beyond my ability to handle.

"Oh, okay," I said resignedly. "But this had better be good. And you'd better be a real robot. And I'd better get a chance to play Live After Death when I get to wherever it is we're going."

The android smiled and tipped his hat. "Your terms are acceptable," he said and we were in a spaceship.