The cool, crisp morning air bit at Sepwise’s nose. He pulled his hand out from under the blanket and tried to rub his face warm, but it was no use, that just made his hand cold. Carefully he opened his eyes, aware that the morning sun would probably be too bright for his desensitised retinas, but he found it to be a misty, damp morning rather than the gloriously bright start he’d expected. He sensed the others around him starting to wake up too, so he resigned himself to getting out of bed and braving the chilly weather.
He stood up and stretched his arms out. His wrists were aching from the relentless potion hurling of the previous night and his leg was hurting where the red beast had caught him with a claw. Nevertheless, he was grateful. He could quite easily have been dead now, had it not been for Armoro’s slightly bewildering but nevertheless successful plan. He didn’t recall thanking the psychoanalyst for his quick thinking last night. Oh, well, no point thanking him now, was there?
‘Blessed Safariz, we’re still alive,’ said Trussuk.
Sepwise turned and saw him sit up rubbing his temple. ‘What’s up with your head?’
‘A battle wound. The beast struck me mightily upon the skull. I have a lump the size of Crease’s ego there. Ouch.’ Trussuk tenderly fingered the rest of his body, checking he had sustained no more injuries. He couldn’t find any, much to his annoyance.
‘Has anybody else been hurt?’ asked Sepwise, more out of curiosity than concern.
‘No, I haven’t,’ replied Armoro. The other pair were too preoccupied with their own thoughts to have heard the question.
Sepwise blew into the bitter morning air a few times hoping to make steamy hoops with his breath, but he wasn’t successful. Then he couldn’t think of anything to do. He wasn’t very good at being bored. He always wanted to be busy, always moving forward. Action, action, action.
‘Right, so today’s plan of action, then,’ he said. Everybody waited for him to continue. He didn’t.
‘Well, what is it?’ said Armoro eventually.
‘I don’t know,’ said Sepwise. ‘What do you suggest?’
‘Look, you’re our so-called leader, you tell us.’
‘Oh, I’m very sorry, but it seems to me that whatever I suggest is not good enough. If I remember correctly, I said we shouldn’t have entered this part of the island in the first place, but oh no, Armoro here had to jump straight in with his, from what I have seen, entirely fanciful theories and drag us all into a deadly fight with a crazed forest monster with razor-sharp claws and breath of fire! Obviously my word holds no sway with you lot, so I’ll just sit down and wait for one of you to come right out with the plans for the rest of the expedition.’ With that, the scientist collapsed heavily onto the ground and waited. Four chastened adventurers looked at the ground and played with their shoes.
‘It’s just that I thought this was my expedition,’ said Sepwise eventually, incapable of staying silent for more than twenty seconds. ‘I arranged it, I hired you all. It’s so galling to have you disobey my orders and drag us into these dangerous situations. It really isn’t good enough.’ Still his men sat meekly, staring at nothing in particular. ‘So, am I still leader, or not?’ A vague, mumbled agreement came from the adventurers, but it was less than convincing. ‘Good. Then we shall start right away. Pack up your things and get ready for a hard day’s slog.’
The adventurers groaned to themselves, stood up and started rolling their bed things up. Armoro stuffed his belongings quickly into his backpack and strolled over to Sepwise. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I know we haven’t been giving you a fair deal lately, but you must look at this enterprise from our perspective. This is a team of intelligent, well, partially intelligent, adult human beings. We are all independent creatures and we’re capable of making our own decisions. We’d like to have an input as well. You know, put forward our views? I mean, have you ever consulted us? About anything? You always go ahead and do what you want. Perhaps you might consider consulting us before you make your decisions. It’s good management.’
‘Stop pestering me, minion,’ said Sepwise. Armoro did as he was told.
<=> <=> <=>
The five explorers stood in a small circle at the edge of the clearing. Sepwise was fiddling with a small compass he’d brought along with him.
‘By correlating the previous average direction of travel with the estimated centre of mass of the island and then triangulating the position of the Sun with respect to this tree here, I have decided we should go this way,’ said Sepwise, pointing behind him.
‘But that’s back where we came from,’ said Trussuk.
‘Is it?’ said Sepwise. ‘Oh, of course, I’m sorry, I’m holding the compass upside down. We go that way.’ He pointed in the opposite direction.
‘Are you sure?’ checked Armoro.
‘Of course I’m sure. I know what I’m doing, you know. I’ve been trained in forest navigation by the most highly regarded explorer on Thercoup.’
‘Who was that then?’
‘Me,’ said the alchemist. ‘Let’s go.’ With a small stumble over a log, he led the way forwards. Reluctantly, his men followed him, all shaking their heads.
<=> <=> <=>
They walked long and hard. They battled through dense, dry forests that rained little needles onto them and left them covered in irritating little prick marks. They pushed their way through seas of bracken that were as high as their chests (in Sepwise’s case, as high as his forehead) and showered them with hundreds of tiny little insects. Trussuk broke down in terror when a tick latched on to him, and had to be held down by Andrew while Armoro removed it.
At one point, Jeudd thought he saw something scampering along high in the trees above, but he put it down to a trick of the light. A little later on, Andrew thought he heard a rustle in the leaves overhead, but he said nothing of it, believing it to be just a duck. Shortly after that, something fell on Trussuk’s head, but he just assumed it was a ripe fruit falling naturally from its parent.
They were, as usual, all wrong.