Sepwise led his men confidently through the forest. It was perhaps getting a bit thicker than he’d anticipated, and the twigs and branches were starting to catch on his tunic, but he wasn’t about to admit to his team that perhaps they shouldn’t have entered the woods in the first place. If it had been somebody else’s idea, then yes, absolutely he’d be kicking up a fuss right now. But it hadn’t been somebody else’s idea, it had been his. At the time there had been some sturdy resistance to heading blindly into a dark, dank, dense forest, but this had only stymied Sepwise’s resolve and driven him to make one of his finest ever speeches, which had obviously worked as everybody had promptly followed him into the trees.
It hadn’t really been easy at any point to be honest. There were no paths of any description and the trees were crammed in so tightly that their branches intertwined in a wicker-like display of deciduous solidarity. The adventurers had to step over, duck under, squeeze round and generally force their way through the choking vegetation. The mulch of leaf litter, twigs and shredded bark alternately squelched and crunched beneath their feet and on more than one occasion had to accomodate a falling explorer.
It was treacherous and miserable and it had been the wrong decision and Sepwise knew it.
But he would never own up to a mistake.
‘Are you sure this is the way we want to go?’ asked Andrew, battling with the branches that were being deflected backwards off Sepwise.
‘Of course I am,’ replied Sepwise firmly. ‘It’s just a rough patch, that’s all. It’ll clear soon.’
‘Yeah, right,’ said Armoro, who was behind Andrew. ‘And whales might swim.’
‘I heard that,’ warned Sepwise. ‘Now will you cease your moaning and keep walking.’
<=> <=> <=>
High in the tree tops, two pairs of eyes followed the adventurers accurately and unfailingly. They glowed bright red in the dark green foliage of the upper reaches of the forest. The two elf-like creatures that owned the eyes darted quickly from branch to branch, jabbering in their pacy, shrill language. Carefully they tracked their targets, hanging one-limbed from the flimsiest of branches as the heroes battled their way awkwardly through the thick undergrowth below.
With instinctive stealth they eased their way down to a lower level, leaping from tree to tree as effortlessy as a slinky spring toppling down steps. Mere feet above Sepwise’s head, they silently kept the pace and awaited their moment.
<=> <=> <=>
‘Look, it’s just not right,’ argued Sepwise. ‘Turning back is like giving in. We’d have wasted half a day.’
‘Better than wasting a full day,’ said Armoro.
‘But we’re not wasting the day,’ said Sepwise again. ‘As long as we’re moving forwards, we’re not moving backwards. Am I right?’
Armoro couldn’t argue with this.
‘So stop moaning, and help me get this branch out of the way.’ Armoro bodged his way past Andrew, who was looking into the higher reaches of the forest with interest, and examined the branch that lay across their path.
‘There’s no way we can move that,’ he said. ‘Not even Trussuk could shift it.’
Sepwise thought about this for a second. He wasn’t about to give in after coming this far. Surely there was some way around it? He looked to his left and right. No, the bushes were too thick, and far too prickly. Maybe they could climb over it...
He heard two small thuds. He looked around uncertainly. There followed a brief scrabbling noise and some high-pitched yammering. The noises seemed to be emanating from the other side of the branch. He held his hand up to warn the others that something was up. The others wondered why he’d put his hand up. He reached into his pouch and grabbed one of the vials. There were now but a few left, and he had no idea which one he was holding. Oh well, made no difference. They all did much the same job.
‘Look, what’s going on?’ said Armoro.
‘SSSshhh!’ hissed Sepwise. ‘There’s something there.’
‘Where?’
‘There,’ pointed Sepwise. Armoro followed his finger and saw two imp-like creatures trotting slowly towards them.
‘Oh, I see,’ he said. Sepwise pulled his vial from the pouch and made ready to deploy it.
‘Stand back,’ he advised. ‘I’m armed.’
Vinil held his hands aloft. He was carrying something that looked like a roll of paper in one of them. ‘Fear not,’ he said, ‘we are here to help.’
‘Help?’ asked Sepwise. ‘We don’t need any help.’
‘Yes you do,’ said Vinil, continuing to stroll towards them. ‘You are lost.’
‘No we are not,’ said Sepwise indignantly.
‘Yes you are. And we can help you.’
‘Rubbish,’ said Sepwise. He raised his vial up higher. ‘Stop there. One more move and you will know the true meaning of the word “aaargh”.’
Vinil motioned Harbo to stop moving. ‘Violence is of no interest to us,’ he said to Sepwise. ‘We mean to assist you.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ said Sepwise. Armoro prodded him in the shoulder.
‘Perhaps we should give them a chance,’ he suggested. ‘They look harmless enough.’
‘That’s what you said about the warning on the stone, and look where that got us.’
‘Well...’
‘Alright,’ Sepwise said to Vinil, ignoring Armoro, ‘what’s your real business here?’
‘As I stated, we wish to assist you in your noble quest,’ he explained. He lowered his left hand gently and offered the roll to Sepwise. ‘A gift,’ he said. ‘With our sincerest compliments.’
Sepwise looked at the gift. It didn’t look dangerous. It looked like a roll of paper, in fact. He leaned forward and examined it further. There seemed to be some inscriptions on it, but he couldn’t...
‘Oh for the Atonement of Safariz,’ exclaimed Armoro and grabbed the scroll. ‘Thank you very much,’ he said to Vinil. The two elves bowed slightly, then darted away quickly into the trees. Sepwise rounded on Armoro.
‘That was a very stupid thing you just did, you know,’ he said.
‘Well it prevented you from faffing about all day, didn’t it? Now, let’s see what we’ve got.’ He gingerly unrolled the scroll, deliberately keeping it away from Sepwise’s line of sight.
‘What is it?’ asked Sepwise.
‘Hmm,’ said Armoro, examining the intricately inked symbols. ‘It appears to be a two-dimensional representation of the way in which a sentient creature perceives his or her surroundings.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Sepwise.
Armoro passed the paper to Andrew. ‘What do you make of it, Andrew?’
‘Oh, yes. I’ve seen these before. It’s merely a Creasian projection of the immediately surrounding regions, although it seems more concerned with drawing attention to local landmarks than with geographic accuracy. Very crude.’ He in turn passed it on to Jeudd.
‘And your views, Jeudd?’
The poet looked at the document in contempt. ‘Distinctively average,’ he mused. ‘No vision, no depth. Definitely not drawn by an artist of any great standing. It does nothing for me.’ He hurriedly passed it on to the big hands of Trussuk.
‘So what do you reckon, then, Trussuk?’ asked Sepwise, getting thoroughly frustrated.
‘It’s a map,’ he said with a shrug. He handed it over to the alchemist who studied it intently for a moment or two before turning it the right way round and continuing to study it.
‘I think Trussuk’s right,’ Sepwise said eventually.
‘Well of course he is,’ said an exasperated Armoro.
‘So,’ said Sepwise, leaning his head over as he examined some insignificant portion of the map, ‘do we follow it or not?’
‘Well, why not?’ said Andrew. ‘It won’t hurt, will it?’
‘It might be a trap,’ Sepwise pointed out.
‘Might be,’ agreed Armoro, ‘but what the hell? It’s better than being lost, isn’t it?’
Sepwise considered this for a moment. Somehow he got the feeling that being lost was part and parcel of exploration. However, a map is always pretty handy...
‘Hmm, OK,’ he said. ‘I suppose we’d be fools not to make use of it now we’ve got it. Any objections?’ Nobody objected. ‘Right, so let’s see what we’ve got then.’ He looked at the map again. ‘I suggest we head to the North-East corner of the island.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘Because there’s an SSAI there.’
‘An SSAI?’ asked Andrew. ‘Is that some sort of particularly special region that has been protected from development due to its high scientific value?’
‘No,’ said Sepwise. ‘It says here that it’s a Site of Special Alcoholic Interest.’
‘Oh, sounds good,’ said Trussuk.
‘Yes, and probably worthy of investigation,’ added Armoro. ‘Might prove to be of significant cultural value.’
‘Absolutely,’ mumbled Sepwise. ‘Right, so all we need to do is work out where we are on the map, then attempt to ascertain our bearing by locating obvious landmarks within our line of sight, and then we can head straight there.’
‘Well we know where we are,’ said Armoro peering at the map. ‘We’re where that big arrow is that says YOU ARE HERE.’
Sepwise squinted at the map. ‘Yes, okay, so let’s try and work out which way we’re facing. What landmarks can we pick out?’
‘Um,’ said Trussuk tentatively, ‘instead of doing that, you could use your compass.’
Sepwise hesitated. Annoyingly, Trussuk was right. ‘Yes, that’s a good point,’ he conceded. He hated being outwitted by heroes.
‘Right, so which way do we need to head?’ asked Armoro.
Sepwise rolled the chart up and passed it to the psychoanalyst. He fiddled about in his pouch and withdrew the crude compass. He held it up and turned round slowly, pausing occasionally to let the needle settle down. ‘That way,’ he eventually pointed.
‘But that’s where we came from,’ moaned Andrew.
‘I knew it,’ said Armoro. ‘Didn’t I say? Didn’t I?’
‘Yes, yes,’ Sepwise said dismissively. ‘I’m sure we’re all very interested in your opinion.’ He grabbed the chart back off Armoro and thrust his arm forth. ‘Let’s make headway,’ he ordered.